ZZZ
by Marree
Summary: Somebody in Garden snores. VERY LOUDLY! Squall, Zell, and Irvine are determined to rid their home, and dorm, of the menace.


ZZZ  
by Mariye  
  
======  
Disclaimer: Well, if I did own anything here, you wouldn't see this   
wonderful message, and I know you'd miss this message.  
A/N: I'm striving to have a fan fic with a title starting with every  
letter of the alphabet. All I can say is that X is gonna be tough,  
and most likely a silly-fic... And Irvine and Seifer are sharing a   
room in this fic ONLY because they both aren't SeeDs yet, and SeeDs  
in training have to share a room, remember? Just a note for the people  
like me out there who also have sick minds. Also, people also seem to   
wonder how I do all these funny fics. See, its cause I have such a  
confusing family. I mean, I'm probably the quinticential 'good girl.'  
(you know, no breakin curfews, no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, and  
surprisingly I even don't really swear all that much even ::everyone  
looks shocked::) Plus I have weird funny friends too o^-^o! I dunno  
how I do this, I think its a genetic thing lol. Hope you like this!   
It was brought on by my friend starting to snore in U.S. History when  
he fell asleep.  
======  
  
"SKKKKNNNAAAGHHH!!!!!"  
  
"What the @#$& was that?!?!" A very sleepy Zell asked as he stumbled  
out into the hallway in his Pikachu pjs. Squall stepped out in his   
normal Esthar t-shirt and sweats.  
  
"I don't know, it came from Irvine and Seifer's dorm room." Squall and  
Zell ran down the hallway. They heard another cry...  
  
"SSKKKKKNNNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Irvine came tumbling out of the room in front of them, cowboy hat and  
cowboy footie pajamas and all, holding his ears and screaming.   
  
"Make him stop! Oh Hyne please! Make him stop!"  
  
Squall looked at checked over Irvine.  
  
"Squall, are my ears bleeding?"  
  
"...No... Wait... Nope..."  
  
Zell looked at the open door. "Was that Seifer?"  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"   
  
That was the answer to his question.  
  
"I never knew he snored. He just got back yesterday, and first I get  
stuck with him and all his stuff invading my dorm. Then he started   
this! I can't take it!" Irvine was shaking his head and sitting against  
a wall.   
  
"I always thought that was just one of the machines in Garden when I  
used to hear that..." Squall mused. Zell walked in front of the   
doorway and started to look in the room...  
  
"SSSSSSSKKKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
The force of the sound waves knocked him back five feet, until he was  
up against the wall near where Squall stood and Irvine was sitting   
covering his ears.  
  
"Well, I always thought he wasn't human. That proves it." Zell started  
to get back up. "So what're we gonna do about Sleeping Beauty?"  
  
"I think we should investigate first, see what is making him snore."  
Squall said, moving to the front of the group.  
  
"We have to go in there?" Irvine got up and shook his head. "Can we  
go get some earplugs from the supplyroom or something?"  
  
"SSKKKKKNNNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"But then we won't be able to hear each other." Squall said matter of  
factly.  
  
"Well, in the case of some people, that may be a blessing in   
disguise." Irvine moved his head in the direction of Zell.  
  
"Yeah, well at least I'm not balding and trying to cover it up with a  
cowboy hat!" Zell shot back. Irvine took off his hat and showed him  
the top of his head.  
  
"Does it look like I'm balding? You're just jealous!"  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"   
  
"Stop bickering. We're gonna need to stick together." Squall took a   
deep breath. "I'm going in. Who's going with me?"  
  
"All for one and one for all." Irvine said as he walked up next to  
Squall.  
  
"Hey, that sounds familiar, what's it from?" Zell asked as he joined  
the group.  
  
"The Three Musketeers."   
  
"Pretty dumb motto for a candy bar." Zell said as the three of them  
went into the den.  
  
"Shhh, be very quiet." Squall said as they crept to Seifer's door.  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"   
  
"Yeah, uh huh. Being quiet is a real problem here." Zell said as he  
pushed open the door. The three walked over to the bed. Seifer was  
laying sideways, hugging a stuffed Jigglypuff.  
  
"Ha! Seifer likes pokemon!" Irvine laughed. He then turned and looked  
at Zell, who was scowling at him. "No offense or anything man."  
  
"You wanna get beat up, don't you?"  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"   
  
"Well, if you did knock me out, then I wouldn't have to hear that!"  
Irvine said, folding his arms over his chest and sticking out his  
tongue.  
  
"Guys, come on now." Squall looked at Seifer. Seifer's mouth was  
wide open and a steady stream of drool was oozing out. "Eeew. Um,   
Zell, get over here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look in his mouth and see what could be causing the noise."  
  
"NO WAY!" Zell started to back up toward the door. Irvine grabbed his  
shoulder.  
  
"Hey, Squall's the leader. He tells you to look down Seifer's throat,  
you do it."  
  
"SKKKKNNNAAAGHHH!!!!!"  
  
"But he'll drool on me!" Squall and Irvine pushed Zell to the bed.  
Zell started to look over into Seifer's mouth.  
  
"Its too dark, gimme a flashlight or something!" Squall grabbed a   
Carebears flashlight off Seifer's bedside table and handed it to   
Zell.  
  
"Okay, well lets just take a looksee."  
  
"SKKKKNNNAAAGHHH!!!!!"  
  
"Ugh!!! Ahh! It burns! It smells!" Zell went tumbling back. The   
flashlight went flying into the air. Luckily Irvine caught it.  
  
"Man, that morning breath is deadly." Irvine said while looking at  
Squall. Zell writhed in pain on the ground.  
  
"I don't think its morning yet, its more like night breath."  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"No," Irvine pointed to the wall clock. "See, its 1:45. Morning."  
  
"Fine." Squall looked at Zell, who was still lying on the ground.   
"C'mon Zell. Get back up. You still didn't see what's making the  
noise." Zell moaned. Squall shook his head. "Chicken-Wuss. Irvine,  
go see what's making the noise."  
  
"Me?!?"  
  
"Yes, go." Irvine looked at Squall pleadingly.  
  
"Do you have any idea what that rank breath and sticky drool will do  
to my hair?" Squall pushed him towards the bed.  
  
"Do it."  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
Irvine cringed and looked in Seifer's mouth. "You know that hangy   
thingy in the back of our throats?"  
  
"The uvula?" Squall asked.  
  
"Yeah. I think thats the problem." Irvine backed up.  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"Whew. Just in time." He said. Zell finally got up.  
  
"So how do we stop this?" He asked, while pushing his hair back.   
Squall thought for a second.  
  
"Well, when Rinoa snores, I usually turn her on her side and she   
stops." Zell and Irvine looked at him, then at each other.  
  
"I don't know which thought is more disturbing. Rinoa and Squall, or  
actually rolling Seifer over." Zell said.  
  
"I vote for rolling Seifer over. The other thing is kinda normal.  
By the way, I'm not rolling him over. I'm not touching that   
drooling snoring blob." Irvine said while shooting a disgusted look  
at Seifer.  
  
"Me either. I wonder how Raijin put up with this. He used to room   
with Seifer." Zell said.  
  
"SKKKKKNNNNAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!"  
"Well, Raijin's deaf anyway. That's why Fujin always has to yell."  
Squall said as he stepped in front of them. "Besides, I'm Commander  
and I say you two roll him over. Go do it. Now."  
  
"Sorry, but we're starting a mutiny." Irvine said, while grabbing  
Squall's shoulder. Zell grabbed Squall's other shoulder.  
  
"We're tired of all the dirty work." They pushed Squall toward the  
bed. He cringed, then rolled Seifer over.  
  
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAA  
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Great, that only made it worse." Zell pouted.  
  
"Well, I can always go live in the girls' dorms. That would be nice.  
Fun too. Maybe I can get a girl roommate even." Irvine pondered.  
  
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAA  
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"We have one last resort." Squall said. "Do either of you have a   
cure spell?" He started to draw his gunblade.  
  
"Um, yeah, I do." Zell said as he walked up to Squall.  
  
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAA  
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Cutting his airway will kill him though Squall. Granted it would   
stop the noise..." Irvine said, though not making any movement to   
stop Squall.  
  
"I'm not cutting his throat. What I do, I do for Garden!" Squall   
slashed. Zell closed his eyes.  
  
"Ewwww! You actually cut out the hangy uvula thing that hangs down the  
back of your throat." Irvine said with disgust. Zell cast cure, and  
Seifer was healed, and the hangy thing in the back of his throat  
disappeared.  
  
---  
  
[the next day]  
  
"Ah, what a beautiful morning. What a nice sleep." Seifer said as  
he stretched and rose up. "Hmmm, feels like something's missing...  
HEY! WHERE'S MY FLASHLIGHT?"  
  
[meanwhile]  
  
"Cool! I love Carebears!" Zell said as he put his new flashlight in  
his bedside table drawer.  
  
======  
  
[the end]  



End file.
